Peyton Manning

famous star of countless commercials and television programs, and part-time football player.
if peyton manning uses that nose-hair trimmer, it’s good enough for me!
numbers and numbers… 6 consecutive 4,000+ p-ssing yard seasons. 49 tds in 2004 season. 4 to 1 td/interception ratio. 34,000 career p-ssing yards so far. over 240 career touchdowns. the only quarterback to throw a perfect game, and he did it three times.
“peyton manning in the shotgun. ball snapped. he’s scanning the field… sees harrison… deep p-ss!… touchdown!”
just won the d-mn super bowl! which proves he does not choke, and is an amazing player.
peyton manning is statistically better than troy aikman, but theyre both some of the best qbs ever
hes either a g-d amongst mere mortals.

or

a robot from the future sent back in time to infiltrate the n.f.l., re-write the record books, and humble tom brady.
peyton manning’s calendar goes from march 31st to april 2nd, because n-body fools peyton manning

peyton manning has counted to infinity… twice.
sharks dedicate an entire week to peyton manning.
peyton manning can set ants on fire with a magnifying gl-ss…at night.
peyton manning knows the last digit of pi.
probably the best qb in the nfl now that hes won a super bowl and yea brady has won 3 but who cares his numbers arent that great and his team carried him anyway and that whole thing about manning being bradys b-tch thats obviously stupid because as shown in the afc championship game brady and the pats blew a 21-6 halftime lead and brady is clutch?
tom brady: “21-6 this is over”
end of game
tom brady: “sobs”
peyton manning: “whose the b-tch now?”
the greatest qb of all time. statistically dominant, cannot be stopped by any defense and will continue to win superbowls and break records until he retires.
“i just played peyton manning in a game today.”

“how many points did you lose by.”

“a lot.”
a commercial actor who occasionally plays football. he (as well as the occasional appearance of his hasbeen father and r-t-rded little brother) has done commercials for milk, sprint, several mastercard spots, oreos, directv, nflshop, and would probably do tampon commercials given the chance. blames his teammates more often than not even if he makes an obvious error.
is it true that you are an enormous sellout, peyton manning?

peyton: h-ll no! when i’m done doing this swiffer commercial we’re gonna have a long talk.

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