Phantom Gas


when a group of people are standing around, and someone farts, but the culprit is too ashamed to admit it, and n-body knows who commited such tomfoolery. also, only the dead are above suspicion.
the cast:
stan
dan
anne
susanne
roxanne
dianne
dot

the scene takes place while 7 teens are in an elevator at the top floor of a 13 story hotel. none of them know each other, but they are linked by a horrific crime.

dan: hey, second floor please.

susanne: me too.

suddenly, everyone is alerted by strange but natural occurance.

(fart)

dianne- what in the h-ll was that?

anne: h-llo everyone, would you like to play a game?

stan: real funny you sick b-tch!

anne: i did not commit this treachery but i will find out who did. the elevator is sealed and we will only escape if we call the operator. i will not let anyone touch this phone unless the perpatrater is brought to justice. if we don’t escape, the gas will eventually end us. we have three minutes.

dot: (whimpering in fetal postion) i don’t want to do it mommy, i don’t want to die

roxanne: this is blaspheme! and only for some phamtom gas?!

susanne: why so angry, you fat dame, got something to hide?

roxanne: no it wasn’t me you nincomp–p.

stan: well you’re both cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

dan: oh no no, neither of them are cotton-headed ninny-muggins, guy. is this what we’ve succ-mbed to?

dianne: well if the flux capacit…(gag)

suddenly the seven young teens collapse and die. anne, the suicidal debate team president, was the last to die. she p-ssed away laughing, as it was her phantom gas all along.

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