phenamjulate


the action of squeaking by pressing your curled lips together tightly and forcing air out. this causes one’s lips to bulge amusingly. people who practice this are able to control pitch (much like letting air very slowly out of a balloon), volume (quieter requires greater effort to achieve the same pitch) and may even be able to produce two or more distinct and independantly controlled pitches simultaneously (one from each side of the mouth usually).

the ability to phenamjulate successfully requires lips. these lips should not be too wet or dry and should be in reasonable condition. results are not dependant on the size or shape of the lips in question, but rather the exercised control over them. loose, soggy lips will produce a low raspberry, but good phenamjulation should sound similar to that of a squeaky door.

only the very silly can master this as an artform and can sometimes be heard phenamjulating the intonation of entire conversations. the longest possible phenamjulation is indeffinate, as it uses a similar technique to playing the digeridoo and is thus unconstrained by breathing. one may also hum along or add lip-flicking/wobbling techniques to add effect. extended periods of phenamjulation are not recommended however, due to the immense strain caused by inflating the skin around the mouth and the vibration involved.
“phenamjulating on a cloud…” (sung)
“did you just phenamjulate?”
“i phenamjulated at that dog”

::phenamjulation is pr-nounced; fuh-namm-jew-lay-shun::

usage
phenamjulation is mainly used to p-ss the time, or to break the silence when nothing is happening. household pets are particulatly confused when phenamjulated at. cannot be used as a floatation aid!

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