Pikesville

don’t lie to yourself, you wish you were from pikesville. whether you live in 21208 or 21209, everyone knows your name and your history. getting a car on your 16th birthday is a birthright, much like your bar/bat mitzvah. yes, that’s right: if you live in pikesville, and you aren’t jewish, then you want to be. and while the mothers are playing mah jong and attending stock club meetings, and the fathers are busy running their law firms, accounting firms, banks, and medical practices, the kids are at play, driving in their brand new cars to the bars, a house party, or the next pikesville high school lacrosse game. that’s right, pikesville kids are athletic (don’t let the stature fool you). and yet, when it comes time to graduate, pikesville kids can’t wait to leave to find new people because in high school, the towson, owings mills, and reisterstown kids were not good enough for the pikesville kids to hang out with.
don’t hate pikesville kids because our fathers sign your fathers’ paychecks.
the center of all things jewish, pikesville was hebrew mecca in the 1970’s. here’s a list of some of the greatest places on earth located in pikesville that are now gone forever. mike’s pizza- with the walls painted by cartoonist rob longfoot, pikesville high zap comic book outcast. vince’s pizzeria- supposedly had a wh-r-house upstairs, but the best pizza and veal parm sub you ever had. the beef inn- co owned by one of the craziest drivers in pikesville history, the steak sub and the fried chicken where the best things you ever put in your mouth. dairy cottage- located down smith avenue, was a soda/candy/pinball hangout for the ‘drapes’, pikesville greasers, in the 50’s and 60’s. rogers tap room (now jillys’) – a good place to get beer if you were under 18. lots of fat old drunk women listening to merle on the jukebox at night. reamers- the coolest clothing store for guys where you could get puffy sleeved see through shirts and medallions. manny’s deli- it was never that good. fields lunch counter– still there, thank god! gordons- bad crabs, dead bar–better than cow tipping though. sam the haircutting man in the back of the pikesville shopping center. for a few weeks, a swingers club and bar in that shopping center that featured a pikesville high art teacher who appeared in her band as magnolia thunderp-ssy. finally, wagner’s pharmacy–smelled like dead rats, home of great coddies, and would deliver liquor,douche, and medication to your house in the same package–it was a pleasure to make the drop offs to many of pikesvilles ‘call girls’ shacked up in area apartments–what a world! around the back was a little market that made the best roast beef sandwich you ever had. with hot gentile girls just over the traintracks, pikesville was nirvana for 70’s teens
you’re from pikesville? how is it we kick your -ss in football and you still get all our women?
home of the dank budds.
if you’re from pikesville you or some1 you know have at least 5 people in their phone book who know where to get the dank budd.
dude, call up dusty and see if hes good for a slice!
of course he is, he lives in pikesville!
a suburb of balco (baltimore county), maryland that comprises of the zip codes 21208 and 21209 that is known for being jew central of maryland, and to its haters as “kikesville”. this place is filled with jewish schools, families who are made up of doctors, lawyers, engineers, and accountants. due to this amount of wealth, they stick out like a sore thumb in the mediocre county that is balco.
don’t be jealous of the pikesville kids, they just better with money than the rest of us.
the center in batimore, maryland of jews who count down the days until they can leave. its full of old people who need their lisenses revoked for public safety, dads who work 9-5 in their banker, lawyer, or medical career, moms who come to their kids lacrosse games, and the rest are bored teenagers. the only thing fun to do in the area is raid other towns for their fun (towson) and make fun of the owings mills and reisterstown kids. never mind they all buy the same abercrombie clothes, clearly pikesville kids reign supreme. the best part about pikesville is how every family is related somehow, so technically you almost always hooking up with a distant relative! have fun in the town that people cannot wait to move away from in college.
wow, look at that pikesville girl, her black eyeliner looks too overdone and i just saw her jeans on the clearance rack of abercrombie.
a (proverbial) place where people say they are going to do things but back out at the last minute.
boofhead said he was gonna come paint-balling with us on sat-rday, but i guess there was something better going on in pikesville.