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from the english “turnpike”, the place where itinerent travellers and thieves would camp near a settlement.

pikey is not a racial group, the term is used to describe anyone who lives in a caravan or shares the same values and “culture” of “the travelling community”, and whose main sources of income are as follows:

stealing cars, flogging roses in pubs for “childrens’ charities”, nicking lead off roofs, burgling garden sheds, blagging entry to old peoples house to rob them, doing dodgy tarmac jobs (“we’ve got some black stuff left over from a job up the road”), sometimes with mint imperials used as a subst-tute for white chippings, or, reportedly, using snow to lay slabs on when the sand ran out, stealing your b-ll-cks if they weren’t in a bag and anything else that’s not nailed down and anything that is nailed down but will fit in the back of an untaxed transit when n-body’s looking.

characterised by lurchers on a string, a unintelligible language that “isn’t english, it isn’t irish, it’s just pikey” (source: film: sn-tch), a penchant for harecoursing, ketamine, lighter fuel, fighting in pubs and shopping at lidl.

best avoided.
pikey
pikeyness
diddycoy
trailer trash
a gypsy or circus person. british version of trailer trash. also a dialect used by pikeys which is a cross between english and irish.
“i f-ckin’ hate pikeys”
originally a harmless slang name for a gypsy and/or traveller, being derived from the word ‘turnpike.’

now generally regarded as a term of abuse that encomp-sses any persons perceived as common, tasteless, flashy, in-bred, thieving and a whole host of other sins, the primary term is till applied to gypsies.

once thought of as the type of person who sold you useless lucky heather whether you wanted it or not, the pikey is now the type of person who will uselessly tarmac your driveway whether you want it or not.

a popular hobby amongst pikeys is collecting; mainly dogs, horses, scr-p metal and stolen goods.
jesus, mate, who did your patio; a gang of p-ssed-up pikeys?
the pikey: not a chav/townie – a totally different type of cretin.

a pikey is someone of dubious origin who would like to be known as a traditional happy-go-lucky romany type, but in reality is an illiterate thieving b-st-rd who would stoop to previously unheard of depths in an attempt to ‘earn’ money. i use the term ‘earn’ loosely, as nearly all pikey commerce activities involve a modic-m of illegal activity somewhere along the line.

winter sees your typical pikey become an expert in upvc fitting, summer they revert to the more traditional ‘garden maintenance’

they are easily differentiated from your honest tradesman by the untaxed stolen (& nearly brand new) transit, emblazened with the words ‘ask driver for details’.

pikey youths normally hang out at the nearest lidl during the day, & the pub unfortunate enough to be near their illegal campsite at night.

arguments with these ‘people’ are futile, as they neither understand english or would care if they could. if you are lucky enough to put one of these creatures down be warned – their immediate family (normally numbering 100 plus) will hound you down.

its best to avoid them like the plague, or do a tony martin & shotgun the b-gg-rs.
‘what are you doing in my kitchen you pikey b-st-rd?’

‘having it away with your goodies’

‘ah i see’ kaboom!!!!

copyright tony martin 2003
somebody who wears more rings than they have fingers.
alternitavely, any person who decides to hang a gold clown from their neck.
a pikey is a filthy person. contrary to popular belief in urban dictionary a pikey is not a chav or towny but a irish gypsy, at least it is where i’m from (represent evesham). often inbred peoples (?) who move uninvited into fields/parks and totally decimate the whole area around it, even when they’re gone. claim all sorts of benefits and live tax free because they are sc-m.speak in an unintelligible and yet untranslated crossbreed of irish and english and ever sentence from them consist of the words ‘boi’ and a death threat somewhere in there. often/always called smith and own white ford trabnsit pickups. like the ones tony martin shot. go tony.
pikey: eeeey boi look ya got girls hair
human: what?!
pikey:oi’ll f-ckin ave ya boi oi’ll stab ya boi, oi’ll rob ya boi
human: if you say so mate
thieving b-stards who when they are not thieving, spend their time indulging in one or more of the following: (1) shopping in argos for giant-sized earrings/sovereign rings/gold chains that are too big for mr t; (2) hanging around the post office on giro day; (3) burning out cars; (4)using the word ‘innit’ a lot and generally talking in a b-mpkin slang; (5) smoking f-gs; (6) watching trisha; (7) drinking alcopops and (8) offending everyone with their fake designer threads from the market. regarding point (8)- if a pikey’s clothes really are designer, you can be sure they are stolen goods. the most easy way of identifying a pikey is by their name – for example, if you encounter someone called dean/jordan/chardonnay/maddison/tyler/elvis/tiffany/jade/tyson/kylie etc you can guarantee they descend from pikey stock. they also think mcdonalds is a high-cl-ss culinary experience. losers.
“oi, chardonnay, i’m just going dahn to maccy d’s for me breakfast. d’you fancy a cheeseburger or sommat innit”.

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