Please Advise

corporate jargon for what the f-ck.
dear jim,

i have not yet received the alabama case files i asked you to send.

please advise.
john
an extremely stuffy phrase used by business executives to close emails when they don’t understand how to ask a real question. it basically means “please use your imagination to figure out what the f-ck i need to know to make a decision on this item without making me look like an idiot in front of all the people i cced”

“please advise” is typically used in place of “thanks” in formatting an email. it is very p-ssive aggressive. always -ssume that the user of the phrase “please advise” is a college graduate that follows the advice of his professors to a t… even 15 years later..
dear luke,

i recently got a call from alex in la telling me that we’re out of blinkity blank in california so the blippity blue isn’t working. what-the-f-ck what-the-f-ck we’re losing 15k a day what-the-f-ck save me please.

please advise,
john
the proverbial business b-tchslap.
hi carrie,

how are you? happy monday! i was wondering when you were going to get me that quote i asked for last week. if we don’t get the ball rolling asap my client will look for another company.

please advise.

all the best,
christine.