Pokemon paranoia
the suspicion that anyone on their phone outdoors is playing pogo.
“hey, you playing pokemon?”
“not me…”
–pokemon paranoia claims another victim
that moment your boyfriend /partner takes a minute too long to take your photo.
“done yet?”
“nah this lighting’s really sh-t. let me try something with the settings”
“…okay, how about now?”
“i think the camera app just crashed, gimme a sec”
“if this is another vaporeon -sshole….”
–pokemon paranoia
when you stare at your phone while walking to ensure you don’t miss any pokèstops
joe: stop putting your phone to your face
joey: but i have to catch them all
joe: it’s bad for your eyes
joey: i am not missing any pokestops
joe: -thinks inside in his head- someone had pokèmon paranoia
the feeling that somehow, at all times, you are being watched and stalked by pokemon. there is no escape now. no escape from them. i feel them behind me. above me… watching… waiting… till finally, i lose concentration and they have a chance to get me. they’re coming for me. coming for me.. aaaaagh oh god they’re here
oh god please help
oh go- aaaaaaargh
-gurgle gurgle-
we’re coming for you next.
pokemon paranoia… the scourge of mankind.
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