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official pooned f.a.q.

:contents:
1.0 introduction
1.1 the history of pooned
1.2 the evolution of pooned
2.0 useage of pooned
2.1 examples
3.0 conclusion

1.0
:introduction:

welcome to the pooned f.a.q. the aim of this f.a.q. is to educate and inform people who know nothing of the greatness that is pooned (this could be someone you know, maybe even yourself!) but also clear up any misconceptions or confusion the reader might have.

1.1
:the history of pooned:

this like any other story worth telling is set in a university. yet this one involves no road trip of large proportions or mildly amusing one liners about someones mother. to make my life easier it will be translated into faux irc logs.
fluffball: pooned!
plex: wtf?
fluffball: you know like owned.
roobar: lol bestest!

(this is not an accurate recreation of the birth of pooned however it is better than the recreations that unsolved mysteries would have made.)

from this day onward the word pooned slowly grew in popularity even spilling over into everyday conversations about the arts, the weather and astrophysics.

1.2
:the evolution of pooned:

pooned bacame so popular that it required its own slang term. so pooned was given a little brother/sister (it depends on the day), pooneded. pooneded was lacking in the syntactical corectness more than pooned itself so it never really stuck quite like pooned did, but if you’re lucky on an especially pooned day you may hear someone use it.

2.0
:useage of pooned:

pooned is a rather useful word.
if you claim victory over an opponet, you have pooned them.
if something bad happens to you or someone eles that parson is pooned.
if you plan to perform a great deed you are about to poon something.
if you happened to be bored and want to liven up the conversation, proclaim loudly and prouldy “pooned” at the top of your lungs. it’s bound to fix anything that is wrong with the party, dinner, wedding, staff meeting, dole queue, funeral or other gathering.

2.1
:examples:

please see the example section below.
but because this woudn’t be much of an example section without it here’s another one.
plex: i got totally pooned at work today. also, i forgot to burn your dvd off roobar.
roobar: -ssssssssssssss.

3.0
:conclusion:

now you know all there is to know about the basics of the word pooned. if you have some kind of a problem with it and you’re not a headless chicken then you must be some kind of an -sssss.
the end thankyou and goodnight.
person 1: i was at work the other day, right?

person 2: you mean that one at the supermarket?

person 1: no the other one, so yeah, some moron kid kicked me in the b-lls. i tried to dodge matrix style but it was some kind of patriot foot that kid had.

person 2: pooned!

person 3: you got pooned!

person 1: pooned indeed.

person 4: pooned! pooned!
variation of pwned. shurr speak.
yea dude, we totally pooned some nubz, they should quit the game.
the art of humiliation, or a certain action that deminishes someone at their expense.
a dopey chinaman smacks frankie t in the face. “frankie t got pooned.”
a variation on the word “pwned”, but does not have the same meaning! also commonly mistaken as the word “pwned”.

pooned is derived from the two words “pwned” (which is synonymous to “owned”; started in the online gaming community) and “poon” (which is a modern-day slang term for a woman’s v-g-n-).

pooned can have a number of different meanings. the most obvious definition would be derived from combining the meanings of the two source words together – hence meaning, to be beaten or owned by a girl or a woman. the word is also less commonly used to refer to a male who is “p-ssy whipped”.

a common application would be during internet gaming, when a player announces herself to be female (upon which about 50% of the other male players in the server will commence to hit on her), and then commences to beat a male opponent. everyone else in the same game server will then commence to type out “pooned!” (rather than “pwned”) in an effort to ridicule the unfortunate player. other common applications would include sports.

something interesting to note is the fequencey in which this word is mistaken for the word “pwned”, especially in spoken language. such a mistake could lead to very long awkward silences in group conversations (especially when there are women around) because of the word’s phonetic similarity to the word “poon”. such a situation usually ends with the idiot being slapped by one of the more prominent females of the group, or just generally being laughed at and ridiculed by the whole group. it is also amusing to watch the uneducated (usually prep-b-scent boys around the age of 13 who are obssesively addicted to internet gaming) running abound shouting the word “pooned” at each other when what they mean to say is “pwned”.

a final note on misusage, the source word “pwned” is simply “pwned” (pr-nounced p-owned). not “pooned”, not “pweened”, not “pwooned”, or anything else some idiot could possibly come up with, just “pwned”. the history of the word “pwned” began when people would try to type out the word “owned” really fast, but would hit the “p” key instead of the “o” key on accident. “pwned” took on more popularity than “owned” after that. it is not some fancy word that some genius geek-elite out there invented, it simply began with the word “owned” and should thus be pr-nounced like the word “owned”.

fin.
1 – “you just got pooned at tennis by kathy!”

2 – “wow . . . pooned.”

3 – example of incorrect usage: jeff beats jim at arm wrestling. jeff shouts loudly, “i just pooned you, jim!” the whole cl-ss laughs at jeff.
getting beaten at something very badly
i got pooned by him in that race
being owned by a noob
“aw dude that kid just pooned u”
“he was using a noob combo”
when a woman gets c-m all over her chest after a glorious -j-c-l-t–n from her partner.

derived from the verb ‘to poon’.
you’ve got pooned!
jenna jameson loves being pooned.

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