Pop Idol


cheap tv show in which the entire country is canv-ssed by a panel of pop producers in order to find people with potential. these people with potential are then told to come back for a second audition so that cowell and co. can discern which one is the most easily manipulated. there then follows the premise of a public vote, but we all know it’s rigged anyhow.

i feel sorry for the people who win pop idol. they get paid cr-ploads to flood the music industry with half–rs-d sh-te and to take it up the -rs- from pete waterman.
the life cycle of a pop idol winner:

august – wins programme, lots of jubilation, gets fat record deal.
september – releases first single. it gets to number 1 and then bombs the next week.
october – the sun newspaper publishes a revelation about this winner being gay/having an affair with a model/engaging in sordid group s-x practices/whatever. public don’t really give a sh-t.
november – having had their interest sparked by the previous month’s press frenzy, their second single rockets.
december – they get to xmas number 1.
january – their next single bombs and we (thankfully) don’t hear of them again.
may – pop idol starts up again.
one of the worst t.v programmes ever!
airhead 1:dude doesn’t pop idol suck?

airhead 2: totally
a bag of sh-t that takes the p-ss outta hard workin metal bands who gig for ages yet dont get no where cos of simon cowell and the bunch of sh-t stabbers who decide wat tweens obviously the only people who matter cos they spend the most money what to listen to
f-kin w-nk sh-te sh-te sh-te sh-te sh-te f-ckin w-nk b-st-rd sh-temetal will reign once again
the thing that the person who played frodo in lord of the rings tried to get into but failed.
frodo: crash, bang, thunder and lightning, du du du du duuuu orcs to the left elves to the right, crash bang!

guy: ok thats enough frodo, next.

frodo: what was wrong with it then?

guy: well frodo, i’ll be honest with you, this is called pop idol, you may have had a chance if it has been middle earth idol but it isent, so get out.

frodo: oh dear. and stop calling me frodo my name is alaisa wood

-frodo walks out into the street

chav: oi frodo ya w-nker put some shoe’s on ya t-t.

chav: oi

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