prayer rock
a baseball sized stone (usually granite) which is used to fend off the unwelcome spiritual advances of an intrusive, fanatical religious proselytizer.
they are typically blessed with an incantation, and then carefully placed within the cranium of the offending believer at a high velocity, where the incantation will hopefully dissolve and they will get the message.
it is considered bad form to use prayer rocks unless your attacker has begun to threaten you with prayer.
“friend, i am here to tell you, you are standing in the path of g-d almighty’s wrath! you need to get right with him before it’s too late! won’t you please accept his free gift now, before it’s too late?!?”
“like i said before, i’m really not interested…”
“oh friend, please don’t make the mistake of -ssuming you can do it tomorrow! tomorrow may never come! think about it! h-ll is not where you want to spend eternity!”
“look, next to you is not where i want to spend next sunday. could you please just leave me alone?”
“you are making an awful mistake, friend. i am certainly going to pray for you! i am going to pray that g-d sears your soul, and draws you to repentance! i am going to pray that g-d makes you miserable in your sins!!”
“no, i don’t think so… (mutters to prayer rock) your next prayer is going to be for a bottle of tylenol…”
thud!!!
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