pressure wank


when you shout your mum and then begin w-nking.

the idea is you bolt your load before she opens the door.
“mum”
“yeah”
“come here”
(begin pressure w-nking)
(bolts load)
(door opens)
“yes?”
a pressure w-nk will take sometime to organize. firstly one needs a demijohn type vessel with a faulty fermentation lock. secondly add to the demijohn all the usual items to allow the fermentation process to develop. timing is crucial! after 2 months in direct sunlight the contents of the demijohn should be ripe for the rip! note: awaiting for the perfect moment means commitment i.e. staying with the vessel 24 hours a day till its ready.

since the fermentation lock is faulty the pressure should be quite powerful so please wear the appropriate gear. ( a strong tissue placed on the head and a bandage).

when the moment of the spurt of the bacterially infected juices comes! place the tip of your placid w-lly or bell upon the faulty fermentation lock and tape (with gaffer) till sealed!

there will be a slight pause then…wooooooooooooooooof! watch your c-ck balloon and b-lls crack with the liquid wonderment speeding through your j-ppipe!

and enjoy till empty.
pressure w-nk is also known as: drain my fat “lady jane ” from the french : dame-jeanne.

you could also try -n-l scrumping! using the same process but aimed up the wrong en!
a pressure w-nk will take sometime to organize. firstly one needs a demijohn type vessel with a faulty fermentation lock. secondly add to the demijohn all the usual items to allow the fermentation process to develop. timing is crucial! after 2 months in direct sunlight the contents of the demijohn should be ripe for the rip! note: awaiting for the perfect moment means commitment i.e. staying with the vessel 24 hours a day till its ready.

since the fermentation lock is faulty the pressure should be quite powerful so please wear the appropriate gear. ( a strong tissue placed on the head and a bandage).

when the moment of the spurt of the bacterially infected juices comes! place the tip of your placid w-lly or bell upon the faulty fermentation lock and tape (with gaffer) till sealed!

there will be a slight pause then…wooooooooooooooooo f! watch your c-ck balloon and b-lls crack with the liquid wonderment speeding through your j-ppipe!

and enjoy till empty.

pressure w-nk is also known as: drain my fat “lady jane ” from the french : dame-jeanne.

pressure w-nk is also known as: drain my fat “lady jane ” from the french : dame-jeanne.

you could also try -n-l scrumping! using the same process but aimed up the wrong en!

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