rapturebate


1. to m-st-rb-t- while thinking about the rapture, mark of the beast, great wh-r- of babylon, etc.

2. to diddle one’s -ss while imagining getting rapture f-cked by harold camping.
1. as rick santorum stood in the shower thinking about the rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to rapturebate. he imagined finally being able to tap the jesus hole. yes he knew the lord was coming soon. yes coming. coming soon, coming soon…

2. renowned felcher pat robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy sodomy clown, harold camping.

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