Red Hook

a small, upstate new york town that spreads from elizaville to the dutchess county fair grounds. the school system is known to be exceptional, but over half the students are usually baked. recently, $1,000,000 was awarded to the school to purchase exercise equipment such as a full gym, and a rock climbing wall. usually recognized for their sports, basketball is the most recognized, with soccer and football trailing close behind. least recognized is the exceptional, state ranked cross country team. there is usually not much to do, except eat at the historic diner and village pizza iii, go to the sh-tty little skatepark, or go to bard college and annoy all the college students who are “misunderstood.” the town itself has an unusually high population of snowboarders, considering it is a flat, urban-spotless farming community. has incredibly hot summers, and brutally cold winters, but not more than 3 or 4 feet of snow annually.
“where should we skate today?”

“i know, we’ll go to the sh-tty little skatepark in red hook!”
1. a symptom of a disease called redhooker’s disease in which a man’s p-n-s bends in more than a 90 degree angle.
2. a person from red hook, new york.

many have noted that the first and second terminology frequently overlap eachother, as people from red hook have ritual for when baby boys are born. like circ-msision, the boys have their p-n-ses physically altered when they are in their young malleable states. though unlike circ-mcision, the p-n-s is held between two bricks for over 48 hours, which make the boys have a p-n-s that is generally more acute than that of a right angle. it is also supposedly derived that the name red hook comes from this ritual which began in the 1600’s. red hooking (the art of bending your p-n-s) is also somewhat a rite of p-ssage. there’s an old saying in red hook that implies that the p-n-s must be more than 90 degrees curved upward. if the angle doesn’t reach the numbers of 90 degrees, the boy will continue putting bricks on his p-n-s until this happens (though many are excommunicated from red hook because once a p-n-s has formed in the normal fashion, it is difficult to alter its shape.)
doctor’s of other cities were stumped when they came upon a child whose p-n-s was extremely curved and red. the doctors later found out that this was the doing of an ritual that is held in red hook new york.

this is a simulated dialogue that frequently occurs for those who leave red hook.
male#1: “hey you came back?”
male#2: “yeah.”
male#1: “why so soon? college wasn’t finished was it?”
male#2: “no but, all the guys made fun of me for my overly curved p-n-s and i could never get with any girl…”
male#1: “don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. atleast we love curved p-n-ses here in red hook!”
a little town in semi-upstate ny with 4 stoplights, but with a lot of neighboring towns/cities for finding stuff to do. when you live there your whole life you can’t wait to get out…but then once your gone, you miss it…a lot.
i’m from red hook, ny…upstate, not in brooklyn.
1. when a gun blast a hole threw someones head ,leaving the head looking like a bl–dy hook.

2. a dangerous part of ny
you better get out of this area, before i give you a red hook!
a small town in upstate new york even though everybody there denies it is “upstate.” the town itself is cute. however, the high school and those who attend it are just awful. it consists of three main groups: the dirtbag stoner kids from tivoli (who are arguably the coolest of the three), the rednecks, and the worst, the country club republican kids from families who throw lame–ss “block parties” and inbreed their children to protect the elite of red hook!!! those kids won’t give the time of day to anyone without a 4 story house or golf club membership and basically sh-t on anyone who isn’t good enough for them. no one. no one ever leaves red hook because they are either too attached to their inbred childhood group of friends and can’t make friends in the real world, or because they have gotten knocked up by the kid down the street and had a shotgun wedding. red hook completely sucks and whoever has had the brains to get the h-ll out as soon as possible and move to a real town with real people, props to you. even rhinebeck people have far more sense than “red hookers” ever will. i’d rather f-cking live in new jersey for christ sakes.
new kid at rhhs: hey man do you know what time this period ends?
inbred red hooker: why are you even speaking to me..
small town that i miss a sh-tload in upstate new york
i want to go back to red hook
town in upstate new york. not hicks, but not as stuck up as the city folk. we are known for one major thing..basketball. we also have a good repuatation as being known on a national level for the grades the students get. we also have amazing anouncments known as rhbc. its amazing and they have great shorts.
red hook won again last night in basketball.