Rejection Day
february 13th. february 14th, or valentine’s day, is of course the perfect day for everyone with a sweetheart. so the day before is basically the day people make a last ditch effort to start scrambling for a rebound or when desperate a b-tterface but end up getting turned down by the same chicks who believe they deserve better but don’t have sh-t, not f-cking sh-t, not motherf-cking sh-t to offer back. you don’t win on rejection day.
kyle: everyone’s talking about how great tomorrow’s gonna be because they get to spend it doing romantic stuff like cuddling and watching movies and eating candlelit dinner. maybe i’ll go find a girl so i don’t feel left out.
jake: dude, you’ll end up with some chick that just broke up with another guy or a girl with the best body with a horrible face, besides either way you’ll get turned down. you can’t win.
kyle: just watch me. -goes to a bar and sees some random blonde- hey, you look gorgeous. maybe we could hook up?
random blonde: i just broke up with some douchebag, i’m not ready for another relationship because i feel like i deserve better than a guy who brought me roses and chocolate while i was in the hospital after surgery, leaving him to pay all the bills and cook dinner.
kyle: oh… right. take care. -walks away and sees a chick from behind, noting her beautiful body- excuse me, i couldn’t help but notice…-girl turns around, revealing the most inhuman face known to man- …oh god. -temporary blindness from her ugly face-
b-tterface girl: hi, i’m stacy. if you’re looking for me to be your girlfriend i’m sorry, but no.
kyle: i’m just gonna go curl up and cry now. -goes back to jake-
jake: what did i tell you? you can never win on rejection day.
kyle: -sobs- d-mn you, rejection day!
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