rihanna

n. chris brown’s punching bag

personal trainer: “you sure worked up a sweat in there, chris.”

chris brown: “yeah, i was just practicing those boxing drills you showed me on rihanna.”
1. proof that the music industry is no longer a raw, gifted talent extruder. more like a money sucking, take-a-quasi-supermodel chick-between-the-ages of 12-21-s-x her up-record her horrible voice-and-use state-of-the-art equipment to alter her voice into sounding like pre-21st century whitney houston-shoot a video of her masturbating-and-force youth to buy the alb-m through brainwashing promotion-mechanism.
2. a teenager with questionable parental guidance who must have sold her unriped body for a recording contract.
3. a joke.
4. a dollar store version of a bratz doll.
5. to sing in a voice used a torture devices in nuclear wars.
6. someone who needs to be bombed down by a j-panese fighter jet.

mother: hey…hey! since you didn’t eat your broccili, i’m gonna make you listen to rihanna’s umbrella 47-times for the rest of the night!
child: (screams at the top of his lungs) mommie, no! noooooooo!!!! (stomps and cries hysterically) i’m sorry! i’m sorryyyyyyyyyyy!
mom: (turns on rihanna’s “umbrella” and put child in time-out) if you leave this seat, i will spank you!
child: give me the spanking! give me that spanking! (the child takes rihanna’s cd out and breaks it into pieces, he pulls down his pants and happily takes the spanking instead)
the one of the most overrated singers of all time
man, rihanna is so overrated
a person that has a huge forehead.
i was playing fight night and i took devastating blow to the rihanna!
the girl who can never remember what her name is.
rihanna: oh na na, what’s my name? oh na na, what’s my name? oh na na, what’s my name?
drake: it’s rihanna.

-1 minute later-

rihanna: oh na na, what’s my name?
a famous singer who according to her songs has a big problem
man, rihanna sure needs some help. she likes rude boys, loves it when people lie to her, and apparently forgot her name.
a really bad singer. most of her songs are stupid and don’t make sense, and very repet-tive. not to mention the fact that every radio station plays them over and over until they’re burned into your brain!
repet-tive:
“shut up and drive, drive, drive, drive, drive”

“under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh. under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!”

-gawd, how many time’s does she have to say eh?-

stooopid lyrics:
“cos we both know where i’m about to go, and we know it very well!”

-and we know it very well? could rihanna not think of a single line to go there?!-

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