River Falls, WI


a town in western wisconsin of roughly 15,000 people. there is an agricultural-based state university and b-m’s park, a grungy, high-school age congregational center where sh-tty drugs and half-smoked cigarettes are consumed. unknown to this group of teenage f-cks is a legitimate drug supply that consists of marijuana, ecstasy, and soft core opiates like vicodin. since there is not a healthy supply of activities, many teenage kids abuse this drug supply and fail in their pathetic studies.
example 1:
person 1: dude, wheres the party tonight?
person 2: its definitely not in river falls, wi.
person 1: but why d00d?
person 2: cuz it sucks -ss here man.
person 1: oh.
person 2: lets just go smoke this schwag at b-m’s
person 1: aight kewlz.

example 2:
river falls f-cking blows, but there is good weed there bro,
if you know where to find it.
river falls is a small and agricultural town in wisconsin, usa. the uwrf (university of wisconsin, river falls) is located in the center of town and many residents are either college students (who never look before they walk across the road) or elderly. young couples wishing to raise families often move/live here because of its ‘small town vibe’.

it has the kinnikinnick river (aka ‘the kinni’), a prime spot for kayaking, fly fishing, and feeding the ducks with your kids.

despite a sign at the entrance to town that says something about “an inclusive community”, the one by the largest place to shop, shop-ko, river falls is predominantly white. there are good/intelligent people of diverse races, but a lot of the non-whites (and a lot of the whites as well, most of which are of the younger generation) are uneducated buffoons.

there is a surprising lack of activities for the youth that live in town or go to school in town, other than sports (which not everyone loves), so many of them turn to drugs or other things for entertainment. attempts to make good places for the youth of river falls have mostly failed (such as the hot spot), which pretty much sucks.

however, the education system is pretty decent, except for a general dislike of administrators (particularly at the high school) and lack of snow days. there are lots of kids getting good grades and drug free (but without a doubt bored out of their minds).
driver: hey, did we just hit something? i think i felt a b-mp.. or something…

p-ssenger: i think it was a college student. there isn’t a crosswalk there, so they must have been texting. that’s how it works here in river falls, wi.

uneducated buffoon #1: yo dawg lets go to b-ms.. timmy got some gud sh-t mayn, we gunna get so hiiigh
uneducated buffoon #2: yeaaaa man lets get high and not do our homewurk cuz there aint sh-t to do aroun’ hurrr!

mom: let’s drink beer!
dad: that’s right, we live in wisconsin now, with our small and economically-aware young family! yay, beer on sunday! our taxes are high! yay!

fly fisherman: …
hand me the bucket, jimmy. i caught me a biggun.

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