Roman Emperor
(n.) the act of c-mming in one’s own sheets, rolling around in the goo, sleeping, and awaking with a toga held together by one’s own 100% au naturale adhesive. revered as one of the most respectable self-gratifying acts from 27 bc to 476 ad. can also be used as a verb, in which case one would supply the necessary adhesive to another’s bed, presumably while the other was already asleep, and thereby adorning the “prankee” with a friendly toga.
so i knew about a toga party a few days in advance that was going down in greektown, and i thought to myself, “my, wouldn’t it to be interesting to be the only person at the party with an all-natural toga?” so i totally pulled a roman emperor the night before and was a huge hit at the party. plus, all the chicks were totally attracted to the smell.
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