Room-mate-from-hell
1)someone who:
has a mortal fear of showers.
cuts his filthy, puke-inducing toenails right in front of you.
hawks up phlegm, and then chews it and swallows, around fifty times an day.
farts around 50 times an hour, and laughs every f-cking time, like a f-cking moron.
doesn’t even own a f-cking toothbrush.
tells you when he’s just m-st-rb-t-d, and describes it in intricate detail.
2)proof that no god exists.
paul:man, i saw your room-mate yesterday. i swear to g-d i could smell him from 50 yards. how the f-ck can you live with him?
john: i don’t know, i just don’t know. i can’t go on like this, john! i just can’t!
– starts crying on paul’s shoulder-
paul: – pats john on the back-
there, there. there there.
one who refuses to shower for months at a time, leaves hair tr-mm-ngs in a plastic bag under his pillow, steals your food, listens to loud music with paper thin walls, dances naked through the halls while you’re tryin to get some, and when he leaves he takes only a back pack full of clothes and leaves the rest of his stuff for you to move out for him. also addicted to wow and techno and expensive online p-rn.
the only benefit of all this being the bonfire of his stuff when you finally have the b-lls to enter his epa declared disaster zone of a bedroom.
what would you call that kid? always smelt bad, never showered, stupid wow kid…
roommate from h-ll?
exactly
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