Rowan University

public university in gl-ssboro, new jersey founded in 1923. the colors of this university is gold and brown, yes the colors of human waste. the students wear these colors proudly as they try enjoy the ghost town that surrounds them, while kicking themselves for not getting into any of the 20 superior colleges in philly.
dad: did you get acceptance letters from any good schools?

son: no, just rowan university and texila american university in south america.

dad: you deserve to wear p–p and pee colors… enjoy gl-ssboro, nj you failure.
a state college located on mullica hill rd./route 322 in gl-ssboro, new jersey. it is about 20 minutes outside of camden, and 30 minutes outside of philadelphia. it is in the middle of a mildly dangerous, but still boring town, so all the students can do for fun is party and drink, which they do almost every day of the week. the police officers are too busy cracking down on underage drinking and public indecency on campus to worry about the rest of the town. the student body consists of bros and sl-ts who think they are hipsters. they have one of the corniest mascots in the country – the profs (an owl) – and two of the worst school colors, brown and gold. their administration offices are so slow and careless that they cost their students time, money, and good opportunities.
rowan student: “i’m gonna go to this party and drink until i black out. you’ve probably never heard of the place.”
regular person: “a bro acting like a hipster…do you go to rowan university?”
the university that houses the acclaimed ice hockey player alex j. zackowski. he scored the game winning goal for his hockey team the randolph high school rams in their state championship game. just like africa, he is flawless.
rowan university? isn’t that the school that alex j. zackowski blesses with his presence?