Rumsby
the lord of all lords, scottish legends and pirate kings all had the surname rumsby. it glistens with the sweat of victory. most notably known for their extreme capacity for alcoholic beverages, and taste for rum, a rumsby has no qualms f-cking up any sack of sh-t that has the nerve to throw his unworthy waffle–ss in the way of the rumsby’s path to glory. usually the path to a chair at the bar. when you hear the name rumsby, images of leonidas harpooning a freshly cherried woman come to mind, because blood on the d-ck is beneath a rumsby, but freshly destroying a woman fresh from deflowering with the vigor of leonidas and a 300 spartan army is something oh-so-common in the rumsby bloodline. -ssclowns beware because these f-ckers are crazy, one minute they’ll be sitting there all pensive and worldly and sh-t, the next they’re inebriated and t-ttyf-cking a midget and setting fire to a buddhist temple, simply because he feels they don’t drink enough, and midget t-ts are perky as f-ck.
-ssclown: sir, excuse me but the bar is full. we’ll be able to seat you in a moment.
rumsby: -drunken slur- you don’t know sh-t about d-ck son i can see an opening right there
-ssclown: that’s just a sp-ce between two men seated, please sir calm down
rumsby: ain’t n-body gon calm down the pain train. scuse me gents but yer getting a whoop if i’n ever seen one
seated gents: oh my god is that his d-ck?!
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