sales kickoff
a usually annual gala event thrown by a company in order to re-ssure its sales group that they are the most important and precious things in the universe. typically takes place in an expensive location with golf courses. sales personnel fly in from all around the world to be cooed, wined and dined so they don’t leave to work for a compet-tor. funds for the lavish, days-long indulgence are generally appropriated by denying unimportant employees the essentials they need, such as sufficient headcount and adequate equipment. unimportant employees generally include anyone not in sales or upper management, especially anyone who actually helps a customer after the deal has closed, such as customer service or technical support.
tech support person: man, i wish they’d hire more people. i’ve got 75 cases, and that means about 50 really p-ssed off customers at all times.
salesperson: quit your whining, little person. the only reason you even have a job is that i sell our products to those suckers. now get out of my way because i’m flying first-cl-ss out to las vegas for our sales kickoff for five days of golf and booze and spa treatments and hookers, all on the company dime! ha ha!
tech support person: i should have known that being smart, helpful and productive was a dead end.
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