Sanctiphonium
a br-ss wind instrument that can be best be described as the marriage of the french horn and euphonium. it produces a sound so lofty and aristocratic, that it sounds quantifiably holier that its counterparts in the br-ss wind instrument family.
for the true effect of this instrument to be unfurled to the audience in full regalia, the player is recommended to periodically dart a derisive sidelong glare with arched eyebrow at the other non-sanctiphoniums in the orchestra to achieve the desired effect.
one by one, after only 3 minutes into the bach piece, all of the players in the chamber ensemble save for the lone sanctiphonium got up in a huff and left in mid movement, leaving the lone woodwind to wallow happily in it’s own self-satisfaction.
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