Santa Caligon Days

a festival thrown over labor day weekend located on the independence square in independence, missouri. the purpose is to remember the santa fe trail, california trail and oregon trail. although it is a historic event, it is celebrated with knock-off country bands, expensive food and drink, a beer garden, broken carnival machines and lame games. while walking around the festival one might find several repet-tive booths such as, but not limited to; lemon ice, funnel cake, pulled pork, hot dogs, balloon darts, duck pond games, and other people who are more than willing to rip you off. to the hard-working citizens of independence, missouri that live near by, the festival is nothing but a nuisance. virtually every street surrounding the square is closed off for almost a week, pedestrians don’t use their cross walks and force us to threaten to run them over and there seems to be an increased number of intoxicated white trash running around (and sometimes shirtless). hopefully one day the entire carnival will catch on fire and burn the f-ck down leaving nothing but smoldering ash, burned bodies and a root beer stand, because that’s all i find this obnoxious event good for.
“dude, you wanna do to sallycaligon tonight, get wasted and blow chunks off of the ferris wheel?”

if you spot children on leashes, gator on a stick, beer bottle art or an astonishing number of mullets and m-ffin topped tramps, you are probably at the santa cali gon fair.

if you are stupid enough to walk several blocks to the fair or pay $5.00 in parking fees, then you are stupid enough to partic-p-te in santa caligon days.