science dick


science d-ck is the generally accepted measure of success in the fields on physics, chemistry, biology and dyingalonelyvirginology. those who have made a greater number of important discoveries are known to have bigger science d-cks.

it is similar to to the measure of “e-p-n-s” used in other circles. it is also equally irresistible to girls. researchers in computer science may score highly in both, an achievement known as diphallia. the science d-ck is not popular in computer science for this very reason.

because of complaints by people hot for jesus, science d-ck is generally not discussed in public. it was found that the more mathematical h-index correlates well with science d-ck, so it is often used instead. next time you hear a scientist talk about h-index, know that he’s talking about his d-ck.
“booya losers! guess whose science d-ck just grew ten inches!” -albert einstein, upon discovering general relativity

“i decided to quit my science career after i found out that marie curie has a bigger science d-ck that i do.” -many an aspiring male scientist

“pasteur, sir, do i observe correctly a substantial increment in the size of your breeches?” / “verily, how perceptive! having written about boiling milk, i found it necessary to reflect the consequences it held for me personally” / “how rare!”

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