Scottish Turner
the affliction, most commonly manifest in drunken english people, that has the effect of making its sufferers speak in a scottish accent/dialect. after one too many pints of guest ale (usually t-tled highland fling or glasgow kiss etc) the scottish turner starts by addressing everyone as jimmy before sliding headlong into indecipherable (even to real scots) gorbals. will often end up staggering round the bar with a broken pint gl-ss whilst attempting to headb-tt sundry drinkers who’ve done nothing wrong. is often ejected without difficulty and told to f-ck off back to the scotland from whence he never came.
english drinker: i say, did you see the chelsea game last tuesday?
scottish turner : see you, jemmy…yis’re gunni git this up yis…yis f-ckin b-ssad…mon then, ya f-ckin c-nt yis…i wis born i’f-ckin glasgi.
a s-xual act where the male, whilst in a woman beings her to his chest and begins to spin while headb-tting her till she falls uncioncous. then the male continues to have intercourse with her untill done.
joe: “did you see the state of steph this morning? she must have got a scottish turner.”
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