scrouch

to cry, usually excessively, after having an -rg-sm and followed by instantly falling asleep.
“you won’t believe what happened with this guy i was hooking up with — he pulled a scrouch!”
another name for a woman’s “lady parts”.
phil: hey dude. how’d you get on at that party last night?

shane: pretty good man. i was b-lls-deep in scrouch by 10pm.

phil: nice
to scrunch down low or crouch
phil scrouched down in the car to avoid being seen by his one-night stand from 3 days ago
a “s-x couch” that seems to possess special powers that leads to the couple sitting or sleeping on the couch to engage in s-xual activities. generally the scrouch is activated from, but not limited to, excess alcohol consumption.
bob: you will never believe this, but jack got laid at the party last night!
sally: what?! jack is too ugly to f-ck.
bob: usually, but somehow he got a woman on the scrouch.
sally: just thinking about the scrouch is making my vaginey wet.
there are multiple ways to use “scrouch” much like “f-ck”
“drop and give me 10 scrouches!”
“is he scratching his b-lls?” “yeah, he’s totally scrouching.”
“what the scrouching t-ts did you say to me?”