Seasoned

experienced, certified, expert, mature, well-rounded or well-trained
“hey man, who built that santa clause house?”

“i don’t know dude, but whoever it was must have been a seasoned carpenter!”
everyone has got this word wrong, to be seasoned means you f-cked up your brain so much on drugs that you can’t do any of the old things that you used to be able to do and/or to have perntamently f-cked yourself up to the point where you don’t have an idea whats going on anymore
jack: hey why aren’t you in college

jim: i want to go to college but i am too seasoned man

experienced in a particular field or activity. knows the ropes already and doesn’t need training or instructions.
in a restaurant kitchen;

cook: how’s the new dishwasher? does he require babysitting?

manager: no, he’s seasoned. he worked two years at that barbecue place down the street.
to get high on marijuana, or pot or whatever else you want to call it. it can take the place of any descriptive word for being high, such as stoned or baked.
“dude, let’s get seasoned!”
“hey man, i’m h-lla seasoned!”
when a big louisiana man performs exquisite oral s-x on a woman.
when you’ve been “seasoned” a gorgeous man from louisiana or “the south” goes down on you.
being under the influence of alcohol to the point of feeling pretty good and having that perfect buzz, but not overdoing it.
dude, i went out last night and i got evenly seasoned. it was just the right amount of seasoning!
to be beyond intoxicated but not drunk.
im not drunk, im seasoned
the act of putting one or many bullets in to someone. taken from the daily show when john stewart referred to the act of cheny peppering his friend with a shot gun as seasoning.
this fool didn’t know who he was messing with so me and the boys got in to the escalade rode up on him and seasoned his -ss.

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