Senior Amateur Club

a club dedicating the art of senior college students reverting back to behaviors that one might have engaged in at age 18-19 or during the freshman year of college. these behaviors earn immediate membership into this celebrated grouping of individuals, and common characteristics of members include, but are not limited to, the following:

1. throwing up in innapropriate places
2. awkward s-xual activity and/or s-xual activity with awkward people
3. blacking out on a continual basis (i.e. 4+ times per week)
4. p-ssing out anywhere other than your own bed
5. drunk dialing/texting
“the last thing i remember was throwing up in my career fair goody bag, then i blacked out and when i woke up this morning the bag was nowhere to be found and i still can’t find it. we think i either threw it over the balcony or hid it somewhere in the apartment, and we’re hoping it’s not the later. that’s definitely grounds for senior amateur club membership”

“girl, you totally joined the senior amateur club last night. you talked a bunch of us into leaving the pregame to go to the social, even though n-body had left or was planning on leaving for a long time. we got as far as squires parking lot and you told their dd to let us out because you were going to get sick. you then found a bush, sat in it, and refused to move until i finally talked you into moving to a bench. you could barely walk, so our dd came to pick you up, carried you into your apartment, and apparently after they left thats when you decided to go next door and throw up all over his bedroom and living room. when you got back to your apartment, you peed all over your bed and the important thing to note here is that you were still conscious.”

“he woke up this morning and had 48 missed calls. homeboy prob thinks i’m president of the senior amateur club”

“i p-ssed out on my balcony last night and the next day i got my senior amateur club letter of acceptance.”

“guys, i threw up for the first time in college last night. megan tucked me in and put a trashcan next to my bed thinking if i needed to vom i’d make the trashcan about a foot from my head. next thing you know there is throwup all over my sheets and comforter. senior amateur club anyone?”

“dude, you totally joined the senior amateur club last night. you do realize that you stole chips from 7-11, right?”

“none of the guys knew where he was, so i figured i would just call the police station to see if he might be there. i asked the woman if they had picked him up at all and she’s like ‘oh yeah, we’ve got him!’ that’s when i knew he became a member of the senior amateur club.”

“i just woke up in a study lounge at our university center. backpack, books, clean clothes…don’t know how or why i’m here. i got so sh-tfaced last night and i guess my inner senior amateur club child said i should sleep in a 24 hour study lounge so i’d be ready for my 9 am.”