Senioritis


when seniors p-ss first semester and start not giving a sh-t second semester cos they know they made it and theyre going to graduate. only cure for this is graduation day
girl 1: “dude why are you wearing sweatpants”
girl 2 : “i got senioritis man. ”
girl 1: “sh-t”
noun. a crippling disease that strikes high school seniors. symptoms include: laziness, an over-excessive wearing of track pants, old athletic shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sweatshirts. also features a lack of studying, repeated absences, and a generally dismissive att-tude. the only known cure is a phenomenon known as graduation.
why didn’t study for your math test kuhns?

oh, who studies for a math test anyways. i got senioritis.
symptoms of senioritis are variable. most cases of senioritis tend to start after college applications and mid-year reports have been sent in. this entails a student not doing any work whatsoever, skipping cl-ss a lot, getting stoned/drunk for the first time ever, being apathetic about everything, and resenting taking all those hard cl-sses to impress your favorite college which you won’t get in most likely because it’s too expensive.

also, seniors with senioritis tend to play pranks on others, sometimes doing thinks that they would never consider doing. but its alright because detention is alright after your mid-year reports are sent in.

senioritis has been doc-mented in a significant minority of seniors usually at the end of the 4th quarter of the junior year. this entails that the student usually doesn’t do his college essay unitl the last week before the college applications are due. however, the student feels very smug because he got away with it.

in other cases, senioritis may show signs early on in birth, then progressing in elementary school, middle school, and the beginning of 9th grade. this usually means that the student goes to a bad school where he or she (usually he) has to take stupid, nonsensical courses, and question the validacy of the system.

senioritis usually can be diagnosed by the student himself or by colleagues of the student such as a teacher.

treatment for senioritis: continue to slack off for the rest of the senior year, doing whatever you want. usually graduation is the pinnacle for the end of senioritis for the student effectively becomes a college student and has to work hard otherwise he works at burger shack.

in some cases, treatment may not work, and the student may exhibit senioritis in college. in these cases, it is adviseable for the student to do research on “procrastination” and possibly visit a psychiatrist for further treatment.

senioritis affects everyone, regardless of s-x, age, height, race, etc. it happens naturally like chicken pox, or diarrhea.

often the quote for seniors with senioritis is, “whateva, whateva, i’ll do what i waunt,” as exhibited by the senioritic eric cartman from the show south park.
my senioritis started around the beginning of 6th grade when i didn’t do many -ssignments until 9 pm. i thought this was procrastination but i learned otherwise (when my teacher found out i watched the movie instead of reading the book).

“whateva, whateva, i’ll do what i waunt, whenever i waunt.” ~ eric cartman

“why didn’t you do your math homework?

“oh, who studies for a math test anyways. i’ve got senioritis”

fei xu, a colleague of mine, skipped gym cl-ss to play ping pong with the handicapped.

you have a 10 page research paper due tomorrow, and you don’t care.

you have a 10 page research paper due tomorrow, but you have a snow day tomorrow, and you still don’t do it on the snow day.
when high school seniors get lazy, no longer give a d-mn, and just cant wait till school ends
1: hey can i copy ur hw? i didnt do it. i was sleeping in cl-ss yesterday anyway
2: i didnt do it either
1: ah, well. screw it. i dont really care. senioritis, man.
2: amen
a virus which seems to affect mainly second semester seniors, with few eceptions (first semester seniors etc). this virus can be deadly to one’s grades, as the carrier becomes totally apathetic about their grades, cl-sses, homework etc. this results in many “zeros ( 0 )” or failing grades – ultimately leading to the drastic lowering of the grade in the carrier’s cl-sses. side effects include: failure to give a sh-t, complete and utter apathy, and not graduating with the carrier’s cl-ss.
parent: why did you fail this cl-ss?
carrier: i didn’t study.
parent: why?
carrier: senioritis
a common disease which plagues high school seniors at one point during their last year in high school. before they graduate, they are overcome with a lazy and indifferent att-tude; uncaring of their studies. there are many different causes of the disease, but it can often be contagious between close friends. often results in a change in personal style; from anything beforehand to sweats and baggy shirts. hair is barely ever brushed; or for women, is up in a messy bun or ponytail. they might have many absences and a generally dismissive outlook towards any type of labor whatsoever.
senioritis: we’d fight for a cure if we weren’t so lazy.

susan: hey, did you study for the english test?
david: hahaha.. nope; house was on. what about you?
susan: nah, mark came over and then we went out for starbucks.. didn’t have time or anything.
senioritis is a disease that affects all high school seniors. for most people it starts in the second semester of the senior year. symptoms for the disease include: unsafe s-x, many beer bongs, getting arrested, showing up to school extremely high, drawing a five foot p-n-s on the chalkboard, and telling you teacher she looks like an old crack wh-r-. the only way to get over this disease is to walk the stage at graduation, or punch your princ-p-l in the c-ck.
great senioritis movies: fast times at ridgmont high and ferris bueller’s day off
the feeling you get when you have a college acceptance letter in one hand, a cinnabon in the other hand, and you jack it with both hands and skeet all over your bookbag and homework.

of course, you don’t have the motivation to clean off your stuff anytime between 3 pm and 7 am the next day.
the diary of an infected senior:

dear diary. i have finally come to terms with my life-threatening case of senioritis. and while my parents and teachers tell me i should “get back on the horse” and study hard, i can only spit out the battle cry of my generation:

senioritis: we’d find a cure, but we just don’t f-ckin care.

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