sexcretary


a secratary hired specifically so that the boss may have s-x with him or her.
tina got hired as a s-xcretary, and boy are her hips sore.
(n.) a person who, for all intents and purposes, is hired in a traditional or nontraditional support role in which he or she functions as the gatekeeper for all s-xual advances between two consenting adults in a monogamous relationship. usually, the s-xcretary intercepts all initial advances, much like a firewall, and forwards them into a queue to await further action, and, if necessary, determines the importance of the advance in conjunction with other events that may precede it. when two events are juxtaposed, it is through a complex algorithm that only a trained s-xcretary understands that determines whether a “spontaneous act of s-xual intercourse” will be allowed or denied — historically, the s-xcretary will always deny the first and second attempt in favour of any other event in direct opposition of s-x.
today i wanted to have s-x with my partner but their s-xcretary said there were no openings until later tonight and, instead, scheduled me for a window between 8pm and 3am.
a friend who interviews other people for you as potential s-xual partners. usually in a socially drinking atmosphere with both of you present. your s-xcretary may ask questions either directly or indirectly in either a serious or humorous vein concerning the potential lucky person’s dating status, size proportions of s-xually exciting anatomy, favorite activities in bed, top/bottom preference, or any other combination designed to make both of you laugh and filter out some potential booty calls.
go be my s-xcretary and ask that chick if she’s single.

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