shark rocket


a weapon that is used to bother sharks, preferably resulting in the shark attacking you and leaving bite marks on your side
i have this thing called a shark rocket and i shoot it at them. and it really annoys sharks. and then i just wade there in the water and they come at me. but i’m really good at eluding them. i know this hip move, it’s something porpoises do and i then i pretend that i have a bottleneck and i stab them in the gills. and it really is effective. i just punched it and it let me go. and tell me there’s no time in your life when you swim faster than when a f-ckin’ shark lets you go, your just like “aahhh no,” you’re on the beach, “aahhh no!” f-cking shark let’s you go and if you don’t get p-ssy with that story, “you want to see my scar?”

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