shitwink

a mentally impaired, transcendentally abrasive and pusillanimous white male of college age. frequently intoxicated, boisterous and devoid of all social graces, a sh-twink commonly (though not invariably) sports birdsh-t hair: that is, a heavily gelled, purposefully mussed coiffure, à la mode moderne. his physiognomy is distinctive: dull, vacant eyes coupled with a perpetual, rodentine snarl. in general bearing, his countenance has been likened to that of an “oily child molester” or a “closeted, men’s room-haunting frot.” his repertoire of vocalizations is limited; moreover, he is seldom heard unless in the presence of other sh-twinks, in whose company he freely uses such standard calls as “beer me,” “wooo yeah,” and “aight.” nocturnal rounds of b-st–l yelping are also reported–apparently intended as a territorial “warning” to non-sh-twinks. beyond issuing social and territorial vocalizations, the sh-twink’s time is chiefly invested in the following three activities: 1.) imbibing alcohol; 2.) har-ssing his peaceable neighbors (an activity pursued only from within the safety of a sh-tpack and often under cover of darkness); and 3.) lording it over his sh-tb-tch. when alone and exposed to daylight they are timid, quavering creatures. commonly abbreviated “wink.” cf. “sh-tneck”
“hey, bill, ain’t that a sh-twink?”

“yeah, melchizedek, that fellow is a sh-twink.”

“please hand me that blade, bill.”

“why, mechizedek?”

“i’m gonna shank that facking ‘wink!”

“oh! oh! may i please narc him with this rusty, jagged shiv–by way of a coup de grace?”

“yes, you may, bill.”