Shlopfest

the procedure in which a large african american gathers/collects the trickling residue from his armpits and deposits into cup. now a swedish back-packer plucks several pubic hairs from her v-g-n-l crev-sse and at the same time, releases natural (yet tasty) liquid flatulence into the same cup. thus creating the first of 10 ingredients.
2. horse-radish
3. garlic (helps relief colds and flu’s)
4. pepper + salt
5. grandmothers secret shloppy sauce with -ssistance from pop.
6. dingle-berries fresh from the gooch of a close relative (preferable aunty norma)
7. corn-relish mixed with out-of-date (woolworth limited) milk, with a touch of fore-head grease.
8. your dad’s sm-gm- (built up crud and crust from inbetween foreskin and p-n-s)
9. weet-bix, left exposed to the sun for 3 weeks, allowing the brewing of nature scents.
10. 10ml of water (no more, no less)
this shloppy concoction is poured vigorously down any open crev-sse of one’s desire. allow the mixture of pure ingredients to settle and shlopify into the essence of one’s body and soul. once achieved, one will feel uplifted, enlighted, and may find oneself dead. this is an experience that is unforgivable yet imperative for one to complete before death. there is one vital rule that can only -ssure festivities of shlop, that being, numerous people must attend/partic-p-te (otherwise, not being a fest).
“wanna come to my shlopfest tonight gazza?”

“ahhh, yeah what is it?”

“search ‘schlopfest’ on urbandictionary.com”

-later, after gazza searches this definition-

“sure brew, im in, do u want me to bring the shloppy sauce or the dingle-berries, i dont mind”

“naa thats fine, i already have them in ample supply, you just bring the water yeah?”

“alright, sounds good”

“anyways, how was your day?”

(conversation continues…)

shlop