skitching the wagon


a period of deliberate abstinence from alcohol to -ssuage concerns that the subject is an alcoholic, only to resume drinking the moment no one is looking. the act of faking sobriety.

derived from ‘skitching’ (skate hitching, i.e. grabbing onto a car for momentum while skateboarding or rollerblading) and the ‘wagon’ metaphor for sobriety (on the wagon, fall off the wagon, etc).
“happy humpday, bill. skitching the wagon again, i see.”
“i haven’t had so much as an o’doul’s in days. if these godd-mn inspectors aren’t out of here by monday, i’m gonna lose my f-ckin’ mind.”
“wanna smell my flask? there’s nothing in it, but-”
-grab- -sssssnnnnnnif- “oooohhh…”

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