smithtown


a pretty boring town about an hour east of new york city on long island. typical friday nights include going bowling, going to the movies, doing drugs, or just ending up at the millenium diner. kids here have nothing to do but write gun threats on desks in math cl-ssrooms and get suspended for cutting studyhall to do drugs. everyone here is either a j-p, a pseudo-ghetto kid, or a b-tchy girl who shops at abercrombie. most pretend to go to “shows” when really all they do is stay at home and complain about the fact that no good shows come to smithtown.
smithtown kid1: hey guys wanna go bowling on friday and then eat fries at the millenium diner at 2 in the morning?
smithtown kid2: sorry, i can’t, i got grounded for writing that gun threat and causing mr. ehmann to do that lockdown. whatever i’m just gonna do drugs that i bought with daddy’s credit card.
smithtown kid3: i would, but i wanna pick up some “vintage” clothing at abercrombie to wear to the show that i’m probably not going to go to.
smithtown kid4: i can’t, i started observing the sabbath.
located on long island, smithtown is 99% white, even though about 40% of the kids try to dress like theyre from a ghetto. another 30% are the sterotypical emo kids who say they are unique, but theyre all in photo club and all shop in thrift stores, not because theyre poor, but because its the cool thing. the other 30% are preppy or just normal dressing people.
there is not much to do in smithtown. most people just smoke weed all day, and complain about how boring smithtown is. the other people actually look around, and realize there is a decent amount of stuff to do.
emo kid 1- “ugh 1 cant believe th3r3 are no thrift st0res in smithtown.”
emo kid 2 – “l0l yeah i kn0ww, lets go smoke.”
normal kid- “shut up shut up”
a town in suffolk county on long island, ny. it is really boring and not diverse at all, with over 95% of the population being white. kids here might claim to have a life, but they really don’t. even kids that are able to drive wind up staying in smithtown on weekends. at least 50% of adolescents in smithtown can be seen walking around the main streets of st.james and smithtown in their free time, or at starbucks hanging out without buying anything, or in the back lots of shopping centers smoking pot or drinking 40s, or they’re at the mall every day. there are 2 high schools, east and west. students can be seen at the gates of the schools smoking cigarettes and trying to look cool. smithtown west, sadly, has a ddr club and a dodgeball club. east has nothing interesting. students also enjoy writing threats on desks, smoking in elevators, cussing out teachers, smoking in the stairwells, streaking, putting random stickers all over the place, and so on. so-called “potheads” talk about pot and getting stoned all the time and then say they don’t want to be called a pothead. straight edgers stick together and usually become alcoholics by the time they’re legal. most smithtown girls that claim they’re bis-xual never get girlfriends. most kids say they hate living here, but wouldn’t leave if they had the chance. ignorance and apathy is a common trait among many smithtown kids.
monday
smithtown kid 1: so what do you want to do today?
smithtown kid 2: let’s go to the mall.
tuesday
smithtown kid 1: so what do you want to do today?
smithtown kid 2: let’s go to the mall.
wednesday
smithtown kid 1: so what do you want to do today?
smithtown kid 2: let’s go to the mall….then starbucks.

and so on.
a place on long island that is about an hour away from new york city. the town is 99% white, but nearly 95% of the people there pretend they are “gangster” and “from the ghetto” even though the things they buy are too expensive for people from the real ghetto are able to afford. besides the “gangsters,” smithtown is infested with stuck up, self centered b-tches who whine all of the f-cking time and hate you because your not wearing abercrombie or hollister. also, every d-mn person who goes to high school in smithtown wears plaid, which makes them look like lumberjacks. also, almost every girl in smithtown dye their hair nearly every week and straighten their hair so much that they constantly smell like dead hair. it’s f-cking disgusting. they also talk like “valley girls,” when in reality they’ve never even been to california before. there is also the small group of scene kids who claim they are unique when in reality they look like everyone else. every single girl in smithtown is obsessed with the “twilight” series, despite the fact that they’ve only read one of the books. and every single guy from smithtown is obsessed with “the dark knight” only to make them look like they actually have b-lls. there are two high schools in smithtown: east and west. at west, you have to memorize f-cked up lines telling you to hug your parents and be polite, which people either don’t care about or pretend to not care about so they look cool. despite how much west sucks, it’s still better than east, which is filled with potheads. if you want to meet someone from smithtown, go to any mall on long island. they will be there.
smithtown kid: “letz go to the mallll.”
a town in northwestern suffolk county known for its bar scene on main street. the legend of it founding is that richard smith made a deal with the native americans that allowed him to keep all the land he ride in one day on his bull whisper. a statue of whisper is in the town. he has a large p-n-s because he is located across from the towns t-tty bar. it is a wealthy town with only small pockets of poor people. the town at night is a hangout for juvies and drunks. the teens copy whatever pop culture tells them either ghetto or skaters or emo. most patrons of the bars are collar pop’in wannbe’s with sandle wearing preps and older creppy guys mixed in. even the older people are “me too’s” people driving escalades and drinking starbucks. basically if getting f-cked in the -ss was in style you can guarantee smithtown would be doing it.
g-d “i have just taken a sh-t. thou shalt call it smithtown”
an affluent suburban town located on the north sh-r- of long island, new york and about 1 hour away from new york city. population is 95% white and the ones who aren’t are usually picked on and singled out for not being white. this is not just referring to the children, it also refers to the adults. the town has 2 main high schools smithtown west and smithtown east most people that attend both schools often say that they “hate” smithtown. however, they ones who say that are usually the same people that try to act like their from the ghetto or have their parents pay for their brand new jeep or mercedes. the word “n-gg-r” is also used as often as the word “f-ggot” is used in online gaming (very often). the kids from this town are also very sc-mmy often stealing from the mall or local stores in town, even though their parents probably own a couple high-end luxury cars or boat or both. the girls from this town are snooty, rich, and insecure, they often trash others because they’re not wearing american eagle, abercombie, or hollister. this is also a town that likes to write gun threats on desks, toilets, walls and on pretty much anything that ink will show up on. things to remember about smithtown: if your not white, your gonna have a bad time and ignorance is about as common as turkey on thanksgiving.
chris: are you white?

not white guy: no, i’m (black, asian, latino or middle eastern).

chris: ha ha go back to where to came from, your not welcome, this is smithtown.

emily: man would you look at that chris, that is the reason why i hate smithtown. people here act like n-gg-rs or f-ggots.

john: yeah i know right? hold on, i’m writing a gun threat on a desk so hopefully we won’t have school tomorrow.

matt: hey john, my mom just bought me a brand new jeep, lets drive to the mall and steal some beanies and flannels from (abercombie, american eagle, hollister).

not white guy: i wish i never moved here or grew up here…
a small- or what feels like small- town about an hour east of new york ctiy. when 99% of the population is white yet more than 40% of teenagers try to be “ghetto,” wearing ecko and phat farm- which sadly enough true “ghetto” people would never be able to afford. another 30% think they’re “unique” when in reality they’re “emo” brat children who sulk over the fact that “no good shows ever come to smithtown” and there “aren’t any good thrift stores in sh-ttown” and another 30% of us are “prep” where if you don’t wear abercrombie or american eagle you are instantaneouly an outcast. where friday nights are filled with sitting in the starbucks parking lot getting completely sh-tfaced or going to the otehrside of the parking lot to smoke some more weed that the they bought because they have too much money to even know what to do with. kids here can’t wait to escape (or so they think) yet when you leave you miss even- even though you don’t want to. a polace where kids have very little responsiblity and every girls is a daddys girl and every guy thinks hes g-d’s gift to woman- and if they don;t think like that then they’re unknown. smithtown- a place filled with sn-bby j-p like people who have too much money than they could ever spend- on anything usefull that is.
smithtown starbucks parking lot

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