snowstitute
a curious product of chicago’s blizzard of 2011, “snowst-tution” is a practice where a guy (with a car surrounded/covered by snow) hires an attractive girl to make feeble, ineffective attempts at shoveling the snow, only to lure in random guys (snow-shovelling johns, or “shons”) to take over for the snow-shovelling damsel-in-distress. also known as a “snowjob.”
my car was all but lost in the snow, until i picked up a snowst-tute to get the job done. the shons couldn’t keep teir hands off their shovels.
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