Soccer Mom Photographer


the slippery slope of becoming a wannabe “pro photographer” that starts with the rule of 1 in 1,000.

with the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words “that shot is great…you have a real knack for photography” and so the journey begins.

without any inkling of iso, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition…any thought at all (auto everything) mom thinks she has actual talent.

through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to “sell it as art” since she’s now a pro shooter.

1.) images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.

2.) won’t give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn’t claim her income, it’s tax free money under the table.

3.) uses pirated photoshop.

4.) all the comments on their “mommy photo blog” are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like “omg, so cute!!!!” or “lisa, you are so talented, omg!!!” it’s pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points omg! all comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
how was your session? i forgot all of my equipment at the studio so i just soccer mom’d it.

wow, uuum, those images are really something? yeah, i went to a soccer mom photographer. we didn’t have the money for a professional photographer.

those pictures look like my mom took them! that’s because we used a soccer mom photographer.

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