Sparkletard
a twilight fan of the hypervigilant variety, devoid of higher thought functions and obsessed with the series, its mythology (or lack thereof), and its romance (again, or lack thereof). they -n-lyze and p-rs- the books as if they were scripture, showing them what it takes to attain true and immortal love. they’ll debate the merits of being f-cked by a vampire versus being f-cked by a werewolf. they’ll pay millions of dollars if only to personally gaze upon the (stuffed) codpiece of edward cullen. most frighteningly, they’ll bite the head off of anyone who defiles or mocks their beloved book series. they are like s-x and the city fans mated with star trek geeks and raised by juno. in short, they are sparkling r-t-rds.
my ex girlfriend started reading the books before we broke up. it caused her to go full sparkletard.
i had to fight through a pack of sparkletards on their way to hot topic. boy were they loud.
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