Spenglish

spenglish – special english, spoken or written by those who cannot, or will not, speak english properly.

the unhappy result of some d-mn fool raping the english language, you don’t need to be foreign to do it, as many of my own countrymen (and ladies) mangle our language too (whether they are drunk or merely illiterate remains to be seen).

spenglish is not to be confused with simple bad grammar, this is gobbledegook taken to a whole new level of “what the f-ck did i just read/hear?”

a verbatim sample of spenglish from an anonymous review of a video game on amazon uk:

“main soon bay this game is soo expenciwe 59 pound .sory i play in ps3 and i not bay this game yet beckouse is to expencive .i not shure whay game for xbox is very expencive???????? a normal main soon xbox have jast 4 gb memory and console is cleary but if i try instaling this game coming me error for memory i conect extra hard drive nader 40 pound if your have standard xbox sleam look before bay beckouse this game nit place in hard drive .
is panick now for this game beckouse is new but try finked before bay now this game 50 pound is very expenciwe”

drunk? foreign? thick as sh-t?
me: “g-dd-mn it arthur, is it not time you put down that stained and sticky w-nk mag and learned to speak the queen’s english man? you are forty-five not fourteen!”

arthur: “wgdblfbh hrfhpsj rhpflj rsjfpj soierhosf ozijdohsp!”

me: “here’s a scrabble set – eat the tiles, go for a sh-t and i’ll read the results because it will make more sense than the spenglish that just dribbled out of your mouth like verbal diarrhoea, you complete and utter imbecile.”