Spert
a shorter version of expert.
snerdette: who shot first, han or greedo?
snerd: you tell me. you’re the star wars spert.
residual semi-liquefied fecal matter that clings to your palm after you zipped your hand through your b-tt-crack to check on the cleanliness of your undergarments after letting a fart of doubtful contents rip. the consistency of the fecal matter is key in whether or not the label “spert” is justified. for instance, if the p–p is too hard of substance, then the resulting goo on your hand is not “spert” but just a sh-t stain.
etymologically, the second part of the word derives from the dutch word for pea-soup “snert”. this thick soup typically has the same consistency (and taste, one might say) as diarrhea. the first letter of the word comes from the word “spurt”, as this is generally the way in which the fecal matter is deposited in the undergarments.
nb: the word “spert” should not be used to define diarrhea in general, or even for diarrhea that sticks to the hand for any other reason than it clinging there on account of a person having checked if he/she soiled his/her pants by zipping a hand through the b-tt-crack.
person 1: oh my, i think i may have p–ped my pants accidentally.
person 2: are you actually reaching down your shorts to check it? that’s gross!
person 1:
someone who’s whole life is consumed with sports. the nerd of sports. almost as weird and strange as a nerd. if you’re a nerd by being obsessed with video games why can’t you be a spert by being obsessed with sports?
john: dude i played football for like 7 hours last night and i have 5 games this week and my muscles kill
joe: john you’re such a f-cking spert. you’re obsessed with sports!
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