Spicy Saucewagon



the spicy saucewagon is a runaway vehicle powered by only the purest and most refined crystals of methamphetamine, also known as fire. the crystals are packed into the bowl and ignited to form a thick vapor that the conductor then inhales where it fuels an uncontrolled route across town. usually the spicy saucewagon has no clear destination however it does make routine stops to restock its sacks of fire (superior crystals). the conductor is the person who at the time is lighting the bowl of crystal fuel and as such decides where the spicy saucewagon will travel for the brief time they are behind the wheel.

on rare nights when the crystals are in their most pure and refined forms, you can catch a glimpse of these reckless runaway sp-ce cadets as they make their landing on the moon in their gl-ss rocket called the short bus. in addition, they will make frequent references to the fact both of their parents are medical doctors. beware however their re-entry can be violent as they p-ss through the earth’s atmosphere and their tempers heat to hundreds of degrees till the effects of the burnt fuel remaining in the bowl are all but smoked out.
sp-ce cadet 1: “wow that sauce is fire!”
sp-ce cadet 2: “i know, i think its time to blast off!”
sp-ce cadet 1: “for sure! light up, mah teenah!”
sp-ce cadet 2: “to the moon on the short bus and i’m lickin all the windows!”
sp-ce cadet 1: “all aboard the spicy saucewagon!”

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