Spidercise
exercises that counteract vericose veins. often done by older women who have vericose vein disease. spidercises are easy to do and anyone can do it, even if you don’t have vericose. this workout is one of many invented by beatrice “gunny granny” middleton. spidercises are spooky sweet. so, if you old ladies have veins that are sore to your eyes, why not reduce them with some spidercise!
beatrice: oh no, darn vericose veins again! they’re getting to me, honey. its time for my spidercise.
bryant: spidercise? what’s that? is this some sort of crazy granny workout i don’t know about?
beatrice: sure! its a set of exercises that shrink spider veins. (she puts her hand on her spiders) you see? you m-ssage the muscles around your spider veins with several different motions. and that shrinks them.
morris: does it really work? could i try it, too? there’s a vein in my wrist that shows up pretty far.
beatrice: sure, sweetheart. (she puts her hand on morris’ inner wrist) you just press and release and then you press again. do you feel it burn?
morris: oh yeah, that burns all right. its working, momma.
midge: here, let me into this. i’ve got a weak vein in my arm.
beatrice: well, just pump up and down on it. that will stretch it. i tell you, spidercises work! if you’re an old gunny granny like me, they tone those veins right up! they rock!
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