sports
america’s state-sponsored religion.
on sunday we pray sports.
the name your dad calls you by that makes you feel like a total loser, which you probably are anyway (synonyms: champ, chief, etc.)
“hey sport, whaddya say your old man teaches you to throw the ol’ ball around today.”
“dad, i’m an all-american pitcher at u of texas.”
“oh sorry son, the ol’ ticker ain’t what it used to be.”
“dad, please, you’re embarr-ssing me in front of my b-tch.”
to show off by wearing.
ay, check out cecilia sportin’ that thong! daiyam!
something that fat women use to get with guys out of their league.
tom: dude, why is that fat chick at the bar pretending to watch game 6 of the pistons lakers series.
bill: oh, she is fat, and needs an angle to attract men.
tom: gotcha
a way to test your athletic ability against others. they’re also fun to watch.
football, basketball, baseball, hockey, etc.
home of the overpaid dumb-sses who flunked most of their school cl-sses except pe.
look its johhny the biggest fool in school who doesnt know anything. but that doesnt stop him from competing with people who make a real difference in the world by making millions of dollars a year just for running around and throwing a stupid ball.
a barbaric holdover from caveman survival/ war games. in modernity, it contributes to chauvanism, violence, and heartache in public school gyms.
“yo, gino, check out this f-g who can’t play no football.”
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