St. Albert

a small city north of edmonton where the per capita income is one of the highest in western canada. 63% above most households. unlike e-town, st. albert is not sketch. kids roam the streets at three in the morning and still can feel safe and not get shot.

as a kid, you love it here. you can play at all the parks, go on anywhere by yourself, and have just a great time. as you get older, it becomes boring and it seems that st albert has nothing to offer you to do until you hit grade 9. then a sudden realization occurs to you and you now understand that st. albert kids are rich and without many rules our boundaries. parties are thrown constantly. s-x, alcohol, drugs, they’re all just a part of their everyday lifes. rolling up in their mercedes and escalades, rocking their thousand dollar outfits, it’s ideal. could you ask for a better place to be a teen?

st. a is a tight knit community. you give directions by landmarks, no one knows street names. everyone knows everyone. most of all, gossip travels fast. any thing you do will be known by everyone within the hour. the cliques are clearly defined within our highschools. the clones are the top of the school. it’s like their famous, everyone knows who they are, what they do, everything about them. they live out their highschool years thinking they’re “it”. and really they are. the girls here are raised to be perfect housewives. iqs are low, b–bs are popping, and they know exactly how to please the guys.

people say the kids here can’t wait to get out, but i have to disagree. here in st. albert, we’re in our own bubble. safe from the troubles and realities of the world. planning on living off our daddy’s and knowing all our problems dissapear when we’re here.
just remember this ideal lifestyle, ain’t so sweet underneath the surface.

live in st. albert, you’ll grow up fast.
a small community by edmonton hated by all but those who live there. has one of the highest incomes per capita in canada and contains spoiled rich kids driving 50,000 dollar cars and wearing 2,000 dollar outfits. the girls are s-xy the boy are hot and living a life that resembles something off of the hills. the party’s are crazy full of alcohol, drugs, and s-x, and there is one everynight. the parents don’t set boundries because they party as hard as their kids. a safe community where a break-in is sure to cause an uproar. as a kid you could easily walk around at three in the morning and feel safe. the second you hit grade 9 the parties, alcohol, drugs, and s-x start and daddy’s little girl grows up fast. these kids don’t have a care in the world, how could you when you have unlimited access to you dad’s bank accounts. ideal place to grow up if you want to slack off in school, ride around in a beemer, and party all night. the letter recently written by a st.albert resident, pretty much sums up what they believe in and stand for.
st.albert:
“his status was accomplished once his friends saw our house and other possessions. it sounds cruel but that is how it is; ask your children, they will tell you.”
or
“let’s get smashed today, i’ll ask my mom to boot for us, we can take my mercedes.”
the town of bwian
“hey man have you been to the town of bwian yet? it’s also known as st. albert, it’s a pretty neat place!”
a small city where everyone thinks their hot sh-t, g’s, drug dealers, and good fighters.
this specific city is full of drama, and gossip, there is constant beef between groups, and schools, theirs alot of stds going around in st.albert because everyone enjoys sleeping with their whole group, and its a town people like to get out of.
st. albert kids don’t do anything but blow their money on drugs and nice cars because their spoiled little -ssholes.
the biggest suburb of edmonton, with a population of 60,000. st. albert is a typical middle cl-ss, mostly white suburb. nothing cool happens here, there’s a mall and a walmart. meth addicts steal sh-t from cars parked in parking lots, and there’s a big park that goes the whole length of the city that runs along the river.
“let’s do something”
“i guess we could smoke up”
“st. albert is lame, lets go to west edmonton mall”
“f-ck that i’m too laze”
a small piece of sh-t town, full of rich old people who complain in department stores, fat irresponsible mothers, and stuck up rich kids. the full of sh-t government usually places about 5 photo radars at a time and gives out about 1000 parking tickets a day because they like draining money out of the civilians. worst possible town to live in, triggers depression easily.

also see, h-ll
“i live in st. albert, i’m thinking about committing suicide”
a certain small town somewhere in alberta. take a large city filled with a bunch of sports nuts, shrink down until it’s 1/200 the size, throw in a ton of racism and h-m-phobia, and take out everything that’s remotely fun. a pathetic excuse for a town.
person 1: we just p-ssed st. albert.
person 2: really? i must’ve blinked.