stafford

a euphemism for an extremely large and impressive p-n-s or a person who has an impressive package.
john: “why is she dating him?”
tim: “haven’t you heard? he’s got a huge stafford.”

or

tim: my sister told me you two had a good date last night.
john: yeah but she called me stafford in the morning.

or

john: i think i pulled my stafford last night
tim: sounds like you and the lady need to have a talk
stafford is the county town of staffordshire, situated between wolverhampton and stoke-on-trent in the west midlands.

it was originally a market town based on the industry of shoe-making, and contains some of britain’s most interesting landmarks, such as: victoria park, the elizabethan ancient high house and the shire hall art and exhibition gallery.

stafford first became (in)famous during the 2001 census, where it finally topped brighton as housing the uk’s largest h-m-s-xual-population. the wider borough of stafford has a population of ~124,531- approximately 87% of which are open h-m-s-xuals, 10% are “just fans” of the paul’o’grady show, and the remaining 3% inconclusive/ bis-xual.

stafford is also home to a wide variety of educational inst-tutions, boasting over 17 primary schools, 7 high schools, and various other tertiary facilities. most of these facilities teach h-m-s-xuality-lessons (cleverly disguised as drama and pe), keeping to the society’s very open, welcoming and understanding nature towards gays, with their slogan: ‘if it ain’t gay, don’t fix it!’

the ‘staffordshire knot’ is used as the town’s symbol, derived from a s-xual position/ act of forplay intended for gay men- conceived locally over 100 years ago.
man: hey what the f— are you doing, stop touching me there!

staffordian: don’t worry, sir. i’m from stafford.

man: oh, in that case, please be my guest and partake in gay s-x with me.
when a girl is giving a guy head under the covers. the guy farts and holds her under there. a dutch oven, with a twist.
last night i was giving him oral when he yelled stafford….i didn’t know what i was in for.
rotting flesh found in the -n-s of a lepper.
that dude’s mouth smelled like a stafford.