statustician
a person skilled in statusry.
characterized by their postage of insightful, helpful, or valuable status updates on facebook.
that girl just summarized the major trends of f. scott fitzgerald’s works in just a sentence, with proper and clear grammar. what a statustician!
someone whose facebook (or other site) status is updated more times than he or she blinks every day. this person’s status is always on your news feed.
dang, did you see priscilla’s status today?
which one, dude? that b-tch is a straight up statustician!
a regular facebook user who specializes in making statuses that get a ton of likes. this person spends at least 1 hour per day thinking of, and producing, multiple “witty” or “cute” facebook statuses in order to get the satisfaction of 20 or more likes. after a while, the statustician begins to acc-mulate regular “likers” – people who will like the status no matter what it is about. in addition, the statustician will “like” every positive comment on their status and delete any negative ones.
sam: wow did you see emily’s status last night?
jeremy: yeah, it got like 50 likes, and it wasn’t even that good of a status.
sam: what a statustician…
one who is concerned about their status
fatb-tch: does my -ss look big in this skirt
bob: thats a whole lot of -ss, you statustician
an expert in or compiler of status updates
jane showed off her skills as a statustician by updating her facebook every 5 minutes
definer of the status quo a.k.a. relationship labeler
my status as defined by standard statustician definition i.e.:
perpetually single
serial monogomist
hopelessly co-dependent
one who continuously updates his facebook status
john’s a master statustician
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