Steel Wool Virgin

a steel wool virgin is when you are having s-x with a woman for the first time and her pubic hair has the consistency and feel of a brillo pad (and she doesn’t know because no one’s ever told her). the co-rs-, wiry pubic hair, in itself, is not generally the problem; if you are careful, it can be avoided. the problem is when those hairs are long enough to find their way into the mouth of the v-g-n- during s-x & make the p-n-s feel like it is being cut by a couple dozen mini-razor blades through out the act. the man is usually too afraid to voice the painful concern’s of his p-n-s out of fear that it may end that first encounter & the last thing you want to do is give her a complex. after a few dates, casually bringing up that you like it when women shave usually does the trick with out upsetting her (but, steel wool virgins must continue to shave on a regular basis. the only thing worse than the original steel wool hair is feeling that area with three day’s worth of stubble. its like rubbing your t-st-cl-s with fish wrapped in wet sandpaper. when this happens, the woman is “deforested”, meaning the trees have all been cut down, but the stumps are all still there). on the whole, its not her fault that she doesn’t know that she feels like you’re having s-x with a garbage disposal, so its your responsibility to find a way to change that (specifically before scabs start to form…). if all goes right, but you do break up eventually, you’ll be doing the next guy a huge favor.
man, i was with this steel wool virgin last night and by the time we were done, i needed a blood transfusion, a partial skin graft and a whole lotta band-aids