Stone-wall Jackson
when a male is expecting a date to end in s-x, and is usually unpleasantly disappointed. generally the date leaves the male feeling discouraged, and so sad they can’t even muster up the enthusiasm to m-st-rb-t-.
“d-mn, i drove 15 miles in a blizzard to get some, and it ended in stone-wall jackson. i couldn’t even muster up the enthusiasm to m-st-rb-t-!”
“what a b-tch.”
thomas jonathan “stonewall” jackson (january 21, 1824 – may 10, 1863) was a confederate general during the american civil war, and probably the most revered confederate commander after general robert e. lee. his military career includes such famous exploits as the audacious valley campaign of 1862 and as a corps commander in the army of northern virginia under robert e. lee. confederate pickets accidentally shot him at the battle of chancellorsville on may 2, 1863, which the general survived, albeit with the loss of an arm to amputation. however, he died of complications of pneumonia eight days later.
jackson rose to prominence and earned his most famous nickname at the first battle of bull run (also known as first man-ssas) in july 1861. as the confederate lines began to crumble under heavy union -ssault, jackson’s brigade provided crucial reinforcements on henry house hill, demonstrating the discipline he instilled in his men. brig. gen. barnard elliott bee, jr., exhorted his own troops to re-form by shouting, “there is jackson standing like a stone wall.” that is how jackson was named stonewall jackson
when someone who knows there history and also smokes a lot of weed and has a square head.
your dad looks like stone wall jackson.
when a girl s-xually teases you but doesn’t end up following through.
john: i fingerbanged her, but when i went to give her the old 1-2, she was being a stonewall jackson.
mike: oh.
to be so uncomfortable, your b-ttcheeks clench together so tight, that not even a crowbar can loosen them.
when tina started to talk about her blue waffle, i pulled a stonewall jackson
the act of finger slamming two girls at once while screaming stonewallllllll!!!!! jacksooooonnnnnn!!!! with both arms at full extension
“dude, last night i blacked out and ‘stonewall jacksoned’ the sh-t out of those twins”
“stonewallllllll jacksooooonnnnnn!!!!!!”
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