Suicide Fart


when one of your buddies farts and it smells so terrible that in order to neutralize the horrific smell, you blow one of your own to thin out the smell of the original.
“oh my god freddie came over the other day and he totally farted in my face! i had to suicide fart just to ease the pain and dilute the sh-tty -ss stench.”
to me a suicide fart is the big giant fart you accidentally let out right before you sit down on the toilet, knowing that you have to sit down and put your nose right in the nucleus of the stench. this happens just after you pull down your pants, and right before you sit down, usually when you are frantically trying to line the toilet seat, and you are contemplating sitting on the toilet bare -ssed because you’re about to cr-p on the floor. trapped there on the toilet with your pants around your ankles there is nowhere to go and it smells so bad you almost die.
d-mn dude, i couldn’t get the string untied on my sweat pants and i almost sh-t my pants and right as i was sitting down i bombed myself with an egg suicide fart

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