Survivor

the greatest tv show… since… well… ever.
i play survivor online… does that make me a loser?
everyone: yes.
a reality tv show on cbs, created by mark burnett, that debued in the summer of 2000 and features sixteen contestants or “castaways” originally composed of two teams of eight that live in seclusion in a remote part of the world to eat bugs, snakes, dirt, game and scorpions for like a month for a million dollars. physical compet-tions are held each week to determine which team will win an award challenge, and then another challenge to determine who will win immunity. the team that doesnt win immunity must vote off a teammate. this also happens after the tribal merge but immunity goes to the individual instead and an individual is then voted out of the game. midway through the season, the two teams are merged to form a single tribe when the real cut-throat part of the game really begins, where your friend is now your foe. the winner of the $1 million is announced on live television on the last episode.

the show has been filmed in such remote locations as borneo (the 1st season), the australian outback, the marcaisas, the amazon, china, pearl islands, panama and fiji.
let’s be honest, the only way you can appear as a contestant on survivor, is by being gay (richard hatch, the original winner), a model, a freek or incrediblly narcistic like johnny fairplay (the most evil survivor contestant ever). normal people need not apply.
a popular reality tv show in which numerous randomly selected contestants make pitiful attempts to survive in a secluded area while they b-tch about their workload until they are eventually voted off by their teammates.
“man, the chicks on survivor won’t stop b-tching about everything, and those guys are total p-ss-es for not gettin’ some poon!”
a book by chuck palahniuk satirizing the american obsession with celebrity. it is perhaps the most hilarious and politically incorrect book of the past twenty years. revolves around tender branson, the last living member of the creedish death cult and newborn televangelist.
“to stand here and try to fix her life is just a big waste of time. people don’t want their
lives fixed. n-body wants their problems solved. their dramas. their distractions. their
stories resolved. their messes cleaned up. because what would they have left? just
the big scary unknown.”
a popular reality tv gameshow. contestants will have to whine, cry and threaten to quit this game in order to win the million dollars. bascially, the more you whine, the better chance of winning.
what americans call survivor is what canadian’s call camping.
americans: wow i can’t believe they did that in survivor!
canadians: what they only went on a camping trip for a couple of weeks, i did that last year for fun.
the 80s arena (corporate) rock band that produced several alb-ms, and numerous smash hits, including “eye of the tiger”, “high on you”, “the search is over”, “american heartbeat”, “is this love”, and “i can’t hold back”.
survivor is a great 80s chicago-based band that everyone should hear.

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